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As a warning to others, I feel it my duty to make fellow Gnomes aware of the dangers of rooming with Two Bricks.
Having drawn the short straw on the Cotswolds tour, and partially recovered from the trauma, Rural attempted to afford warmth and friendship to Colin by allowing him to use his mobile to phone home on the Saturday. Rural's contract with Vodafone being 200 free off peak minutes per month. Foolishly, he omitted the phrase "200 minutes" when explaining to Two Bricks how it was that it was cheaper than using the hotel phone. "It's free today, Colin" said Ivan with a cheery wave. "I'm just off to do a spot of shopping. I'll collect my phone when I get back."
Will he never learn!!
On his return, Rural found all and sundry from the Gnomad party phoning the four corners of the country. The bookies in Hayfield had never known so many telephone bets on a single Saturday morning. Swords was conducting business from the comfort of the hotel patio, and several Gnomad wives had learnt that all was well with their spouses.
Always presuming that, this year, Rural avoids the stigma that is sharing a room with Two Bricks, take heed that Colin must be kept fully informed of the limitations of any favours put his way.
Cooper Senior, on the other hand, brought what was, to me, the most light-hearted moment of the tour. Whilst browsing through a local shop which specialised in paintings of the local landscape, George considered a particular masterpiece to be suitable as a present for the poor woman whose lot it was to give birth to Two Bricks. Asking the shop assistant's opinion as to the suitability of the gift, George was asked the colour of his curtains. "Well, the Daily Mirror on one side, and the Express on the other", was the speedy reply.
Yours aye
Rural
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